Playmate

My dream MIGHT come true soon. I know i've waited all my life for this but i cant help but feel scared.

Scared of the unknown.

My friends asks me, What is there to be scared of? and i really dont have a ready answer for that but one thing im sure of, Uncertainty makes my heart beat faster.

and little worries make it even harder for me to think about this event? what will i do? what will i wear? what stuff to talk about?.

I dont know, Im such a mess right now coz i never really had someone special in my life and i want this to be perfect and memorable. The kind of memory that you wouldnt get tired of reminiscing and the kind of memory that would make you smile eventhough things are getting worse.

People tell me not to worry to much, not to pay attention to this but how can i ignore something BIG like this, I never really felt special in life even though there are people out there who would say anything just to get kinky with me but nothing like this.

I wanna be with him but still im scared that everything is not TRUE. I thought im a cosmowoman who can just be intimate and forget about it but i know i cant.

Im scared that this will make me love him but then he'd realize im not the ONE and that he would rather spend his time with someone else and leave me.

He always tell that i have so much goin on in my life but truth is, i dont wanna spend it jumping from one man to the other. I just one thing and hopefully one man.

I know it's to early to say that i love him and to settle to the idea that HE is the ONE. but one thing i do know. Im not playing and hope he is not too.