Dumating nako sa point na sinabi ko sa sarili ko na sisimulan ko ng putulin kung ano man ang nararamdaman ko para sa isang taong nakilala ko. Nung una kasi ok lang, kaya ko pang ihandle ang sitwasyon pero ngayon unti unti nakong naiinlove sa kanya. kala ko infatuation lang pero iba na pla. ITS NOT RIGHT, kahit na lagi kong jinajustify ang nararamdaman at ginagawa ko pero hindi tlaga pede. Its no longer healthy for the two of us. Its no longer healthy for me specially. GAGA kc ako eh, NUng una sa iba kc ako nakafocus at para sakin sha lang ang laging nanjan. NOw sha na lagi kong gustong makasama, sha na iniisip ko at sha na ang mahalaga sakin. I really think i have fallen inlove with this simple but extraordinary guy. Kakainis kc sha eh, he's so sweet and considerate. nakakainis kc ako eh masyado ako vulnerable pagdating dun. at nakakainis nito. Kaylangan ko nang magising. Sobrang hirap na desisyon at lalong sobrang hirap na TASK pero kaylangan ko nang simulan ngayon. Lalo pang nakapagpatibay ng desisyon ko eh nung mabasa ko lahat ng sulat ng mahal nia. I learned from those letters how they love each other. how they feel so blessed when they met and when they were engaged. and how lucky they feel that their baby is about to be born on this world. I was hurt when i read that, khit na wla ako karapatan, i was sad when i read that, khit hindi nman dpat. and i was so envious when i read that, dhil hindi ko nararamdaman half of what they have. When i read those letters, narealize ko na wla ng reason to hold on. and that created a big hole on my heart. Isa lang ang mabuting naibulot sakin nung mga letters na yun. IT BROUGH ME BACK TO REALITY! IT BROUGHT ME BACK TO MY SANITY!
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