i always knew i was different and it wasn't until i learned about transgenderism that i finally found the answers unfortunately my family didn't have the privilege to understand my situation. they showered me with all their love but still their ignorance failed to show me the kind of love i needed to develop the self worth that every child deserves to have.
if you're wondering why I'm telling you this. i just want you to know and to understand that i feel so misunderstood.
My brother and i just had a huge fight. Although he said that my transgenderism doesn't affect him at all, he obviously still believes that i AM JUST A TRANSGENDERED WOMAN and nothing but a person doomed to live alone for the rest of her life.
I don't believe him coz i have someone like you and although you may not be the one that i will spent the rest of my life with but i still know someone will spend their life with me and i can always live my life to the fullest with or without someone.
but hearing that someone whom i grew with, whom i taught will be the first person to say. "i am Nicolle's brother am i am proud" say that if i leave and never return, he wont see a difference in his life. That his life is practically be the same if I'm in it or not is the hardest blow to someone as fragile as me.
I am in a state of so much hurt and it seemed that all my life, all my futile desire to make them proud is nothing to them.
the hardest realization here is that, even though i have always been alone but still thrive to be with someone. My efforts will only lead me to one thing, LONELINESS.~
My life has always been empty and with this, it continues to be empty.
Your Nicole!
I'm sorry if you have to deal with all the drama of my life. i just didn't know whom to go to when shit happens. i hope this doesn't drift you further away from me.
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