anhedonia

My schedule doesnt allow me to write anything coz i mostly spend my free time sleeping and recovering from the crazy workload that i have.

Thankfully a new schedule was given and i can now have more free time to do things and may fav past time would be ranting and self pittying untill im so depressed that i spring back to happiness (crazy aint it?)

Anyway it is not uncommon to everyone that i have a special kind of depression. (gender dysphoria). This condition makes me feel so out of tune with my body which makes me feel that i cannot fully enjoy life's pleasure unless i have my mind and body corrected. (so guys my need to dress the way i am dressing and my need to have my body altered is not out of whim but a neccessity to alleviate sadness.

Work is becoming less demanding and school is nearing its end but somehow i feel like my set goal is still far out of reach, i know i still have miles to go before i can finally say i am home but somehow i feel i havent even started yet.

During psych class i remember i phase where one encounter a fork in the road of life, where one has to decide what to do and where to go. i am not on that fork yet. I am just a few inches away from the starting line and yet my enthusiasm has started to decline.

Trojan peach told me that for a young lady that i am,i seem to worry alot about so many things. cant help it. being the inexperience little christina nicole. i seem to be scared of things that i know little about.

and my absent boyfriend is not helping either,

SImply put i miss him, and this makes me lethargic.

CHICKA LANG~