USAPANG DEDE

When my officemate came in, He started to talk about citifinancial loans. I've always wanted to avail of a loan myself but i dont know anything about it (all those rates, annum erkerk associated with loans) plus im tooo lazy to even process an application.

Here's my thing, I wanna loan 100,ooo and i plan to use it for my confidence enhancement program. bwahahaha.

In other words. I wanna have bigger breasts.

My friends warn me about the pros and cons of breast enhancement surgeries but i tell them i know all about it. I am practically a connoisseur about the procedure since i've been planning to have it for 2 years now. (hanggang ngayon plano parin, hindi na yata makapagantay doktor ko)

I appreciate the concern but all those horror stories about breast enhancement are true but very marginal. IN the first place, the people who undergone those procedures are to be blamed for their fate coz they are stupid and cheap plus those unscrupulous quack doctors should be punished, their genitals should be injected with searing hot industrial silicone until it's big enough to burst.

Things i know:

• Injecting silicone to your body is a big NO, NO. this barbaric procedure has been banned since 1960's (not sure of the year but still it's been banned a looong time ago) RATIONALE: silicone will be absorb by your body, and since it is considered a foriegn object, your body's immune system will try to clump it together and destroy it but since it is a strong material they wont be able to do that untill it decays and decaying matter inside you is septic.(toxic) untill parts of your own tissue will decay too (kamusta ka nman, yung loob ng katawan mo, naagnas, yuckie)
• Those silly doctors and silly patients use industrial silicone (bwahahahaa. itaguyod ang industriyang pinoy!). coz its soooo cheap and easily available.
• A poor boob job is done by someone who never had professional training and who never received medical education (parang yang mga facial churva sa daan, kung anu anu gagawin sa mukha mo without the derma knowledge na dapat alam nila, all we know, nanood lang yan dati ng mga procedure tpos ginaya lang nila. o kaya nag train lang sila sa kung sino man ponchio pilato na nanonood lang din kung kanino man herodes, so be very wary.)
• Silicone implants are manufactured to be used precisely for breast augmentation. meaning silicone inside is refined. safe kahit mag leak man sha, it will be eliminated by your body naturally, (ihi mo lang ok na). they are inside a strong bag. (as strong as spider silk) (anu koneksyon? spider silk woven together can be strong as steel, lam mo ba yun? ako kanina lang, hehehe). plus. every silicone implants has a manufacturer's guarantee. (3 to 5 yrs i think)
• if you dont want silicone then use saline implants (maalat na tubig) if they leak, presto para kang nag swimming lang sa dagat, (be careful pag me renal failure o kaya bladder stones ka, bawal ang salt)
• Augmented breasts can still breastfeed coz implants are inserted on fat or between the adipose tissue and chest muscle. Mammary glands have ducts towards the nipple. (parang network of tunnels ng gatas ng ina (at ama, yes, males can produce milk too, enough prolactin hormones and they can) implants wont interfere with milk production.
• Drawback> it can either highten the sensation or totally cease it.
• Drawback> Scars may form around the implants, so titigas sha, parang galit na german. natatitig lang ng diretso kahit anung angulo. (maui breasts?)
• Drawback> they can leak, yung isa iimpis. so pa-implant ka ulit.

Anway, these are not from an expert pero please lang if you plan to have something done. research and gather as much knowledge as you can, wag magkuripot at ipagawa sa kung sino man at kung saan mang clinic lang. You dont have to go to calayan or belo to have it done. peperahan ka lang nun coz of their celebrity status. dami jan. si mang ikong na nagtutuli, kaya nia yan. choze

Breasts, bakit ka nahiyang lumaki?